I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
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I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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