i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize