I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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