walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize