please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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