so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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