Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize