Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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