God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize