Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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