I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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