the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
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Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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