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Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
worst night to have a conscience
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Randomize
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