I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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