One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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