i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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