The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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