I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize