It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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