Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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