OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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