i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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