How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize