don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize