I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize