You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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