just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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