Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
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You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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