Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize