is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had sex on a roof
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ok first of all what the fuck
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