Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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