All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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