Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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