Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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