you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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