theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
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Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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