walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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