My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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