I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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