so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
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Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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