I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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