I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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