All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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