My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize