All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize