I want to stick my p in your. b.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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