guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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