I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize