No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize