just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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